Alternative Sexuality Workshops
The Myth of Vanilla Sex - 60 minutes
Most people, whether they know it or not, include some kind of kink in their sex life. Through examining the similarities between “kinky sex” and “vanilla sex,” this workshop aims to explain "kinkiness" as a spectrum on which everyone can find themselves, much like sexuality and gender spectrums. For allies with kinky friends, this workshop can help dispel misinformation about pathology of sadomasochism and healthy power exchange relationships which too often leads to discrimination in the workplace, in courtrooms, and within families. A culture of sex positivity must include work to break down the binary of vanilla vs kinkster, and include Kink as healthy expression of sexuality. Kinksters are not freaks on the fringe. We’re just like you. You’re just kinkier than you think. This workshop, taught by Erin Kennedy, is perfect for the kink-curious, kink veterans, and those wanting to learn how to be an ally to a Kinkster.
Based on: You're Probably Kinkier Than You Think
Care in Power Exchange Relationships - 60 minutes
There are about as many types of power exchange relationships as there are thoughts and feelings about topic. A nearly endless spectrum of power play dynamics can be found within Kink. This is not foreign to you. You’ve played with power exchange before if you’ve ever had rough sex, held a partner down by the wrists, or allowed yourself to be blindfolded. The amount, type, and duration of power exchange are all variables that are negotiated between partners.
There are many resources that discuss the exchange of control, but not enough discuss that along with the transfer of control also comes a negotiated expectation of care. Both identities, dominant and submissive, can take a toll on the individuals involved and the relationship in which the dynamics are employed, and both have a responsibility to serve the other. Yes. The dominant serves the submissive, too. In fact, it's often quipped in the kink community that if you don’t know that the submissive holds all the power, you don’t know much about BDSM.
This workshop examines the idea that participants in power exchange relationships agree that there will be an exchange of not only control, but of care. Examples of how control and care are given and received in balance in the best relationships are discussed in this class suited to Kinksters and Kink-Curious of all experience levels.
Based on: Care in Power Exchange Relationships
I Hate My Metamour. Now What? - 60 minutes
We don't always get to choose our metamours. Our poly communities are a pond, not an ocean, so it might be worth trying to get along with your partner's partners. Even partners that make your eyes roll right out of your head. This workshop focuses on coping, communication, and community to keep our polycules in tact.
Power Exchange Dynamics in Polyamory - 60 minutes
This workshop not only offers a primer in BDSM, but also discusses how power exchange dynamics blend with polyamorous ethics and lifestyles. Workshop attendees will learn what to do with one too many Dominants in the room, how to manage multiple submissive partners, and how to balance all the power in play.
BDSM 101 - 60 or 90 minutes
This workshop includes a primer on affirmative consent, introduction to relevant alternative sexuality terminology, basic safety guidelines, and information on how to find social groups online and in person. Perfect for kink-curious or kink allies. This workshop can also be presented as an introduction to more advanced workshops as a series.
Sexuality, Kink, and Social Justice - 60 or 90 minutes
The ability to freely express individual sexuality without fear of shame or retribution is a human right. Kinksters too often face discrimination from their families, friends, in the courtroom, and workplace from people who believe that some sexual behaviors are “deviant” while others are “normal.” Dismantling this binary between vanilla and kinky sexual behaviors helps to create a shame-free atmosphere of sexual freedom for everyone, no matter where they visualize themselves on the spectrum of kink. Understanding sex to include a wide variety of behaviors helps to dismantle hetero-normative, ableist, classist perspectives of sex which alienate many people.
This workshop addresses the intersection of social justice and sexuality - specifically, how racism, classism, ableism, ageism, and sexism manifest into sexual shame and discrimination for people who identify within BDSM communities. Participants will understand the concept “Your kink is not my kink but your kink is ok,” and understand how to intentionally make their own BDSM communities more intersectional, while working together towards sexual freedom. This workshop is appropriate for all levels of experience and interest, including kink-curious, kink allies, and kink veterans.
How to Negotiate Sex Like A Kinkster - 60 or 90 minutes
Kinksters are masters of affirmative consent. To get the most out of sexual or kink experience, you have to start with effective negotiations. Consent isn’t just yes or no, but a continuous conversation about the kind of experience you want or don’t want. Like all communication, it takes practice, and there will be people that you naturally communicate with better with than others. There are some basics to keep in mind, and in this workshop, we discuss the steps for effective negotiations, and practice communicating both our triggers and desires.