5 Ways To Be A Lazy Dominant and Still Be Good At It.

Being dominant can be rough. There are some days that you will just not have time or energy to swing a flogger for an hour, despite how much your bottom needs or wants it. But there are ways to work smarter, not harder. Here’s 5 ways to maintain control while being a lazy fucker.

Source: http://teabagging-twotimer.tumblr.com/post/45608106290

Source: http://teabagging-twotimer.tumblr.com/post/45608106290


If you have ever given someone a spanking, you know that after a while your hand can be as numb and red as your partner’s ass. Pinching is fuckton lazier than rearing back for a slap on the rear. Your bottom will be squirming and begging, and you will have full function of all your appendages. Win win.

Risk: Ear piercing screams
Reward: Positive pain to effort differential

Hitachi Magic Wand

Sold to millions of lazy fuckers every year. Rig a rope harness and secure into place to be complete hands free. If rigging up some rope is too much, put away the lacy lingerie invest in some cotton granny panties that will hold it in place. Buzz away until multiple orgasms are followed by pleads for mercy. Too much of a good thing is torture. Done and done.

Risk: Carpal tunnel syndrome
Reward: Multiple orgasms
Great ideas from North Korea. Source: Dailymail.co.uk.

Great ideas from North Korea. Source: Dailymail.co.uk.

Stress Positions

Stress positions are those in which most of the person’s weight is focused on one or two muscles. Sometimes called submission positions, these allow the top to control the bottom without restraints, and administer pain completely hands free. You already probably know some from yoga class or from the military. Seriously, those guys come up with some sick shit. It doesn’t have to be dark though. Think about how Spiderman is positioned when he’s climbing a wall. Wouldn’t it be cute to see how long your little slaveboy can pretend to be Spiderman? I thought so…

Risk: Joint pain, whiny bottoms.
Reward: Restraint free control, increased focus
I am not delightfully saucy. 

I am not delightfully saucy. 

Elementary School Punishments

Whether you’re into play punishment, or you seriously need to demonstrate a lesson to your submissive, everything you need to know you learned in grade school. You can beat my ass black and blue, but that isn’t nearly as torturous as boring the fuck out of me. That’s the key behind these punishments. Corner time is super popular, and also a way to incorporate stress positions. Alternatively, have your submissive write, “I will accept compliments with confidence and grace” five hundred times. Boring and affirming. Bizarrely effective sometimes.

Risk: Having to count 500 sentences written in spirals. (I had to redo it so he could count them. #truth.)
Reward: Possible increase in obedience, reflection, and personal growth


If you’ve advanced into sophomore level play, you could consider adding electrosex to your repertoire. I don’t suggest this for the fresh fish unless there is someone who give some guidance and information about what you need to know to play risk aware with electricity. If you’ve been to a chiropractor, you might have experienced a TENS unit before. It’s a device that sends electrical pulses to little pads suck to wherever on your body you would like to feel electrical pulses. I would humbly suggest right above the clitoris so that you can feel it into the stem just below the surface. Add a little bump and grind on the g-spot (and a little verbal mindfucking, personally) and you have the makings of half hour orgasms.

Another, perhaps slightly less intimidating option is a violet wand. It looks a lot scarier than it is, but depending on the attachments it can get pretty evil. Just a light touch and your bottom will be writhing and sighing, or attach a metal slapper and listen to the glorious screams.

Risk: Electrocution
Reward: Sex you’ll tell your grandchildren about

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