An Open Letter to my Future Metamours

Can I have a hug? I bet we are going through a lot of the same things. We do love the same person, after all. They can be stubborn and frustrating, can’t they? And yet… so worth holding on to….

I’m not surprised he loves you. Look at you. I haven’t even met you yet but I know you’re a person that commands respect in your own right. You’re not doormat or a weakling. You struggle and you survive. You fight. A little sassy sometimes, right? But you can back up your shit with fact.

Yeah.

I understand why he loves you.

We should go have a smoke together, sister. Pass the pipe and break some bread.

We don’t have to compete. Please, don’t try to compete. I am not passively aggressively liking your pictures with our partner on Facebook. I’m really happy when he’s happy. Yes, it’s hard sometimes to feel like you’re missing out on good times. But my daydreams about us include you, friend. You don’t have to love me. Just accept me. I promise I’ll do the same.

We can help each other. When he’s in a low spot and questions whether or not he’s good enough for you, and he wonders whether he should let you go - I’ll remind him all the beautiful things you bring to his life. All the love and affection and happy memories he’d lose if he lost you. I hope you’ll do the same for me. Let’s decide help each other make happy memories with him.

Let’s decide to keep each other.

We should go pass the pipe, love. Tell our stories in the smoke.

How to Collar An Empowered Submissive

How to Collar An Empowered Submissive

As I learned to see my submission as strength, to see value in my service, I found myself raising the bar for the Dominant people in my life. I have happy, loving relationships with people I will not submit to. Living authentically, I can love many, but submit to few.

Hajime's Shibari: Japanese Rope Bondage

Hajime's Shibari: Japanese Rope Bondage

Tokyo’s fetish for fetishes is hardly a secret. The weird, the taboo, the edges of erotic play can all be found in the hundreds of private fetish clubs in the densely-packed metropolis. The birthplace of manga and tentacle porn, Tokyo’s conservatism is a thin canopy that shades a jungle of forbidden desires, erotic art, and kink culture.

Sexologist Dr. Justine Shuey Helps Dispel Common Myths About BDSM (AUDIO)

Sexologist Dr. Justine Shuey Helps Dispel Common Myths About BDSM (AUDIO)

Sexologist Dr. Justine Shuey discusses some common misconceptions about BDSM, where those misconceptions come from, and what we can do about them.

Counterfeit Kink Communities: Surprise, It's All A Power Trip

Counterfeit Kink Communities: Surprise, It's All A Power Trip

The safety of Kinksters is at risk because we fail to be more than a collective of people with similar interests and goals. We fail to hold each other accountable, we fail in supporting each other, and in creating an environment where people feel safe enough to be authentic. 

Guess where those legislators in Michigan probably got their sex education

Guess where those legislators in Michigan probably got their sex education

We made these legislators. Our schools educated them about sex, sex shame, and sexism. We taught them the culture they are trying to uphold. 

That Time My Lover Drove Across The Country And Met My Boyfriend

That Time My Lover Drove Across The Country And Met My Boyfriend

I have consented to be wrecked. “We will shatter,” I said. Now pieces of me at being scattered across the country. I am bruised blue with heartache. But I’m proud of my marks. They're evidence of my strength. This love is beautiful, even shattered to pieces.  

Okcupid should follow Fetlife for more metamour love and sexual identity options

Okcupid should follow Fetlife for more metamour love and sexual identity options

Fetlife may have spoiled me on individualized identity options on social media profiles. Okcupid is on the right track, but I won’t be happy until I can list my whole polycule and all my metamours. I want more metamour love on okcupid.

Yes. I Play Dangerously. I Let Him Take My Breath Away

Yes. I play dangerously. We’re drifting towards an event horizon instead of orbiting a sun eternally. We will shatter. The benefits of sexual freedom are bittersweet sometimes. When love is dynamic, the changes can take time. It hurts to adjust.

Deflating the Controversy over Trigger Warning Arm Floaties - Gentleperverts' Social Club Podcast Interview

Deflating the Controversy over Trigger Warning Arm Floaties - Gentleperverts' Social Club Podcast Interview

I sheathed my sharp tongue long enough to discuss the pros and cons of trigger warnings and their effect on how we communicate with each other on the Gentleperverts' Social Club Podcast with Dylan Thomas and Crista Ann. 

I'm choking.

I'm choking.

I want to yank empathetic tears from your eyes and watch them roll down your cheek and wet the page so that my words bleed.  A little breath play.  A little pain play.  A little mindfuck.  I want you to get to the last word and beg me to hurt you again like the true masochist I know you are. 

Foria Cannabis Lube Delivers Knock-Out Orgasms

Foria Cannabis Lube Delivers Knock-Out Orgasms

 

Ronda has a hard-working pussy. Not like you lazy, non-lube producing assholes. That’s ok Ronda Rousey. That leaves more Foria cannabis lube for the rest of us. 

Trigger Warnings Are The Arm Floaties of The Internet

Trigger Warnings Are The Arm Floaties of The Internet

I hate to be the one to break it to you, love. There’s going to be pain in your life. There are going to be moments when you feel like the waters have drifted up over your nose, and you have to stretch to get a breath. It’s going to happen. Consider yourself warned.

CatalystCon Confessions

CatalystCon Confessions

You always learn the most when you're interacting with the people between the workshops at sex education conventions like CatalystCon. Don't get me wrong, the workshops are worthy of the price of entrance. But its the intimate moments when all that juicy bits of sexual goodness really hit home.

Seditious Sex

Seditious Sex

Inside Iran's Seditious Sex Scene:  It’s Friday. In Tehran, young urbanites are gearing up for the weekend. In the city’s affluent neighborhoods, friends and family of the elite gather behind the relative privacy of four walls to socialize, drink, and let their hair down.